Things Learnt From The Family Visit

Picnic has good BBQ but the real draw is their apple crumble - the best I’ve tasted on this side of the Atlantic.

Waking up on the airbed facing a wall and taking 30 seconds to realize that no, I’m not at home in Bicester.

That my new rug has more square footage than the bedroom I spent three decades sleeping in.

Blue Bloods is a terrible TV show.

But Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders is so jingoistic and offensive that I think that it’s secretly staffed by a cabal of Russia Today writers.

I’m getting better at this pizza thing. One of them was almost round. I forgot to put cheese on it, but it was round…

Concrete cakes are great.

My sister’s Funko problem will soon require a 12-step programme.

Don’t forget that Dad doesn’t like working with water.

I have undone all my exercise to reduce the Christmas weight-gain in one week. Good job!

It is easy to forget that Durham has a load of great things going on.

While the psoriasis continues to spread, my liver is fine. So there’s that.

Nzinga’s is probably the best brunch ‘secret’ in Durham right now.

I can no longer use ‘mid-thirties’.

Going to Saltbox at 1pm on a Saturday is a recipe for sold-out sadness. Sorry, Mum!

I need to get googly eyes for Bob.

Everything is so quiet now.

I had 1000 teabags this morning. Now I have 999. THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS.