It has been a year of planes. I worked out that I’ve been to nine different states in the last 12 months (TN, CA, GA, SC, IL, KY, OH, MO, and NY).
My Thanksgiving was planned around limited travel. A jaunt back up to KY to spend the week with Tammy and Robert, cooking a fusion holiday dinner spanning both sides of the Atlantic Ocean (which basically would have meant adding roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings, but surely that’s good enough!). A few days there and then back to Durham.
The call came while I was waiting for a connecting flight in National Airport. My dad had had a heart attack. Thankfully, he was at school, and the ambulance managed to get him to the hospital within 6 minutes (which, if you know anything about Oxford traffic on a Friday afternoon, is something of a miracle in itself). My mum and my sister had just come back from the hospital.
I forgot what airport I was in, confusing everybody by mixing up Dulles and National and then assuming that Cincinnati International Airport would have a flight to the UK. In the end, I flew on eight different planes in eight days.
And I only broke down once, when my iPhone decided it was going to be helpful and play ‘Tank Park Salute’ after I had got out of the shower in Kentucky.
Dad is…okay. I helped put things together for the Christmas lights, got last in the John Radcliffe with mum picking Dad up, went shopping in Bicester’s new big Tesco, got threatened with menaces by Bonnie multiple times, and then came back on Friday. In some ways, it was like a (compressed) normal trip, but…it wasn’t.
I’ll be back home in three weeks for a more traditional Christmas visit. And a reminder that every one counts.
Nov 13, 2016 · 1 minute read
Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage 2016
To give you an idea of how I’m doing right now, I pulled this t-shirt out by accident on Friday and then had to go sit down for a while.
I took a few days off Twitter, coming back on Saturday. That was probably too soon, but you have to get back into the stream eventually. And figure out what to do next. Which for me, means citizenship. There may be other things, but that seems like a proper first step.
Oct 31, 2016 · 1 minute read
spark big data beam storm heron flink all the other big data keywords
I did a talk this week at All Things Open, wherein I discovered that references to Blur albums from 1994 don’t necessarily resonate with an American audience. I spend at least 15 minutes adding that ’S’, you know (a good part of that was Photoshop crashing, mind you).
But wait, there’s more! Having received @b0rk’s debugging zine this week, I wanted to produce something for my talk. Due to…well, let’s call it interest in the upcoming election, I didn’t want to create a big zine, but how about an 8-page single sheet zine full of helpful hints on developing with Apache Spark?
But wait! Wait! Yes, there’s even more! Because if you’ve opened that PDF, you’ll have noticed that it’s actually two pages! If you print it duplex, you get a fold-out poster which has operational tips and tricks! Zounds!
(notably, the zine has information which I chopped out of the original talk’s 1hr 8m length, including fun things like upgrading Spark Streaming applications, some command-line GC options, and a brief discussion on broadcast/accumulator variables)
This year, I’ve worked in San Francisco and in a skyscraper in New York. All I’m saying is that as far as childhood goals go, 2017 will have to involve me holding a comic bearing a writer’s credit in order to top 20161. However, what I didn’t really consider when constructing these dreams of being a fancy developer / consultant in a NY skyscraper is that I’m scared of heights. Terrified, even. Which makes for an interesting meeting in the ‘corner office’ with floor-to-ceiling windows. Or even just attempting to close the curtains in my hotel.
Also, I still find it amusing how astounded people are when I use public transport. Next time, I’ll wander around with a copy of Vignelli’s MTA map to do it properly.
Oh, and I booked my Christmas flights home. I’ll be back in the UK from December 17th until December 28th. I probably won’t make it to the south Bank this time around, sadly! Maybe next year…
Tonight’s blog was brought to you by Shimura Curves. Just because.
Admittedly, in most other respects, 2016 has been a tyre fire. But you knew that already.
Just another 16 days. Just days away. This election has broken me, and I spent 2000 on the Ops night shift at Oxford Brookes following the Bush v. Gore shenanigans. And you’ll remember that I got so freaked out at Obama’s abysmal first debate performance in 2012 that I sent a long angry message to Obama For America at 2am that night.
This time, I am sleeping. However, I’m managing that simply through Ambien, which I didn’t have access to four years ago. Otherwise, I have succumbed to Deep US Election Psychosis. Every minute from getting up to going to bed is overwhelmed by the need to check Twitter or elsewhere to see if there’s a new poll, something being said at a rally, or what the guy occupying the Ecuadorian Embassy’s women’s toilets is coming out with today (spoilers: likely to be tinged with anti-Semitism!). Then, once in bed, there’s a thirty minute period whereupon I continue to check my phone until I feel the pull of the Ambien.
This is not healthy. The only real respite for the past month has been sleep and the periods when I’ve been flying (and that leads to me wandering through an airport trying to check 400 tweets whilst attempting to catch a taxi). Just another 16 days to go.
This is all a lead up to me pointing out that I’m giving a talk at All Things Open this Thursday. Come and watch me talk about Apache Spark and see if you can spot the points where I’m thinking “But wait! WHAT IF 538 HAS UPDATED THEIR FORECAST WHILST I’M EXPLAINING HOW TO CONFIGURE THE G1GC GARBAGE COLLECTOR?”1 There will also be a take-home mini-zine for 30 people! And a PDF of it for everybody else afterwards.
Right, back to Twitter. On November 9th…I may be more sane. A little, anyhow.
One sound you really don’t want to hear at 20:30 is a very loud ‘craaaack’ from somewhere just outside your bedroom window. You know, the side where there is an overhanging and overgrown aged tree on the curb.
Thankfully, the large chunk of wood managed to land in a position where it didn’t crush my fence or (more importantly) my roof.
As many of you know, I’m not the biggest fan of change, especially when housing is concerned. When I was at Manchester, I didn’t just spend three years in the same Hall of Residence. Every year, I got the form for reapplication and ticked ‘yes, I want to stay in Room A14 for another year, thank you very much’.
After university, I returned home to my bedroom (also known to my American friends as ‘essentially Harry Potter’s room under the stairs’) and stayed there for nine years with a brief year-long gap in NC.
But whilst scrubbing the hardwood floors this week, I realized that I have stayed in this house longer than anywhere else except Avon Crescent. Which seems like a big deal. And to celebrate, the house kept the mice away for a few days.
I can’t say that I believe I’ll be staying within these walls for as long as I did at Avon Crescent, but I’m here for now. Also, my family is coming back next June, so the house will be full again for a short time!
Sep 25, 2016 · 1 minute read
really, they said this
Heroes starts playing.
“This is U2!”
Welcome to the start of the ‘KIDS THESE DAYS’ stage of my life.
Another great weekend in Kentucky. No board games this time…but I did end up having an hour-long conversation about them on the flight home this morning. Odd, but fun!
Oh, and Chicago this week too! It’s been a busy one.
Which is basically a code phrase for ‘lots happened this week, but I’ve been travelling all week and I’m now very tired and mentally freaking out about the debate tomorrow night, so there’s not a big chance of getting a big update out of me right now.’
BUT STAY TUNED. Because next week I will tell you my adventures of tracking down a FAX MACHINE in Durham, North Carolina! THRILL AT THE EXPECTATION.
Sep 18, 2016 · 2 minute read
it's just dust in my eye When I'm finished over here If you're not finished with me
If you hadn’t heard, Allo Darlin’ announced this week that they were splitting up, with a final farewell concert to be held in December (sadly, I don’t think I’ll be getting home in time for it!).
I first heard Tallulah on the back of Simon Sweeping The Nation’s post back in January 2012. I was in Marina Del Rey, lost in a Courtyard Marriott, walking to Santa Monica every morning to Activision’s offices. I was miserable being back after the Christmas break, and this song just hit me like an anvil as I was getting dressed that morning.
I'm wondering if I've already heard all the songs that'll mean something
And I'm wondering if I've already met all the people that'll mean something
And there I sat, half-dressed, trying not to cry, at least 4000 miles away from anybody I knew, and 6000 miles from home. Thus automatically disproving the first assertion above, but hey, it was 7am and I had only just got out of the shower.
Given that the band now occupies various different countries, the break-up is not entirely surprising. Given that I’m the US, I feel very lucky that I managed to see them on two different tours on this side of the Atlantic.