All Exits Final

Nov 7, 2006 · 6 minute read

We have exit polls. Take with your usual tonne or two of salt. Exit polls in 2004 favoured a Mr. Kerry, and look how that turned out (for us, it turned out to be a drunken haze, but really, it was the only way to cope).

Apparently, on the Rush Limbaugh show this afternoon the RNC chairman floated the idea that the Democrats may be stealing the election. Heh. As if this bunch of Democrats could organise such a thing.

The exit polls on FOX News are coming with a length disclaimer. DON'T WORRY. DON'T PANIC.

Kentucky has closed! Plus more are about to shut: Georgia, Indiana, South Carolina Vermont and Virginia. Woohoo! The Democrats have picked up one seat already. Supposedly. Not entirely sure where, though, although CNN say it's a former independent seat.

Hmm, and the reports of extremely high GOP turn-out begin to filter in. It might be time for the vodka.

Ohio, West Virginia, and yes, North Carolina! about to close. Byrd wins. 60 years in the Senate. Heh.

Virginia gay marriage ban passes. Not looking good.

I am getting the Fear. The Democratic Fear. Not again. Surely.

There is good news in Kentucky. A House seat, KY3, wasn't in play until last week. The Democratic candidate is leading by a thin margin. Virginia though is not looking good.

If Ford wins in Tennessee, I will eat my hat. It would be one of the most impressive events since the Reconstruction. Even if he is more conservative as a Democrat than a lot of Republicans.

A bunch of states about to close their polls. Webb now neck and neck with Allen in Virginia. Fear. Still.

Katherine Harris is being destroyed in Florida. At least some justice for 2000 there, then.

Fox: "It's a Democratic year! *whaaaaa*"

Mark Foley's Florida seat appears to be slipping away from the Republicans.

Maryland. Heh. Looks like Carcetti. Oh my. Florida governor race is too close to call. Please, please! An early birthday present for Laura!

Hah. Too optimistic there. New update shows Crist getting a load more votes from reporting precincts. Well, it was nice for a moment.

North Carolina seat is 50 50! Go Asheville-type area! While it looks like Tennessee is definitely a step too far for the Democrats, with Corker pulling away from Ford. Although saying that, it's still early reporting.

Oh God. I think Virginia is going to end up like Florida in 2000. Lawyers Ahoy.

It's not just me, is it? Chris Wallace really does have the most punchable face.

RICK SANToRUM! SLING YOUR HOOK! HELL YES!

Hmm. Fox have called NJ, but only 3% of precincts have reported, and there's only a 4% differential so far. Bizarre. But! Santorum! I have a warm glow. Admittedly, he's now getting a loving eulogy from Fred Barnes on Fox. Heh. A compassionate conservative. Unless you happen to be gay, of course. In which case you're scum and want to have sex with dogs. The Senate is a better place without him.

NC is 51/49 D! Go Go!

Fox: Democrats horny for female graduate students, hence Democrat bias in exit polls. Ummm…

Ohio is Democrat. That's two.

Yes. So Kean is above Menedez, yet they've already called it for the latter? I'm just a little concerned about that.

Oh my goodness; they getting excited on Fox because they're using a swingometer that Peter Snow would simply laugh at.

Lots of votes coming in now, but nothing to decide anything one way or another just yet.

Howard Dean! and he looks like he wants to deck Wallace too. Good man.

Spitzer as New York Governor! Hurrah!

Lieberman holds. Boo. And Hiss.

Fox is projecting a Maryland hold for the Democrats. Which is fortunate for the Democrats, as if they'd lost that seat, it would ruin all their chances of taking the Senate. An interesting trend for Maryland, though; the future races there could be quite hard fought affairs.

And, let's spare a thought for residents of Washington DC, who get to watch tonight's election, but not vote. Oddly, the city has no representation in either the House or the Senate (they have a couple of observers in the House, but they can't vote), and is ruled directly by the Federal government. They couldn't even vote for President until 1964.

Democrats need 12 more seats to take the House, according to Fox (I'm flicking around, but Fox is the channel that is calling races).

Whitehouse beats Chafee? Rhode Island is now Dem. Three. North Carolina pulling away to the Democrats as well. Half-way there. Only those three were the easy ones. Missouri is not looking too favourable, but I didn't catch how many precincts had reported. eeep.

Beginning to falter. Some are still optmistic that a lot of the Northern VA votes haven't come in yet for Webb, but I remember that line of thinking from two years ago, and it didn't help then, either.

Oh my. Oh my. The mayor of Baltimore is now the Governor of Maryland. OMAR'S CALLING.

Virginia is still on a knife-edge. 2,000 votes between the two Senate candidates. And 20,000 Green votes. Excuse me while I go and club a seal.

Montana is about to close. And that's really the last Senate seat that I can see the having a chance of the Democrats taking.

It's time to point and laugh at Rick Santorum! Ah, just like the great Portillo moment of 1997. Your crying children aren't going to make me feel sympathetic towards you.

There's not much left from Virginia. There are a few big cities still left to fully report, but I can't see Webb making up the 20,000 votes he's behind at the moment.

Seven seats for the House.

And now we have to suffer a unbearably smug Lieberman. Grr.

The House is falling. It's looking very likely that Virginia will go to a recount.

Current Fox line: "They're Conservative Democrats!"

Tom DeLay's former seat: Democrat. And the house falls to the Democrats. Bwahahahaha.

That sound you hear is lawyers parachuting into Virginia. Early returns from Montana are faovuring Tester, and although McCaskell is down in Missouri, even Fox is saying that the strongly Democratic cities haven't been counted yet.

Mark Foley's old Florida seat goes blue, with another Florida seat. A slightly disappointing night down there for the Democrats.

How long can I carry on? Three, four more hours for Montana, they're predicting. Hah. Damn them!

Virginia now down to below 3,000 votes between the two candidates. I*glares at the 25,000 Green party voters*

Heh. "A New Direction For America" in a very West Wing-esque font. Good choice, Democrats.

They still seem very confident about Missouri and Montana.

I like Harry Reid, despite myself. Besides, a northern Majority or even Minority Leader just wouldn't work. Nevada is far enough away from both the South and the North to play both sides. Which is want you want really.

So, em. Secretary Rumsfeld. Perhaps you might want to update your CV…?

Nancy! Oh, how the ultra-conservatives are quaking right now. A woman! In charge of the House. From SAN FRANCISCO! Heavens!

Virginia. From the returns website. Webb now 2,000 votes up. A cynical man would think that some of the Democratic precincts were holding back to report the numbers that were required. But I dont know if their machine has been capable of that in the last twenty or so years.

Right. It's not going to be decided tonight. Virginia is going to a recount. Missouri and Montana will be counting for hours. But a good night for Democrats, even if they fall short of the Senate...