DAAAAAAAYYYY 2

After yesterday, I have a survival guide: don’t even attempt to watch the convention before 8pm Eastern, and things will be a little more interesting.

But today's big news has been THE BATTLE OF THE RADICALS!

ITEM! Ann Coulter's report from Boston was rejected by her employer, USA Today, on the grounds of "basic weaknesses in clarity and readability that we found unacceptable." Here's Ann's original report. A choice quote:

As for the [lack of] pretty girls, I can only guess that it's because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval.  Plus, it's no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

Nice.

ITEM! Bill O'Reilly vs. Michael Moore in a FIGHT TO THE DEATH! "One shall stand! One shall fall!" Or a streetside debate. Lots of O'Reilly trying to get him to apologise to Mr. Bush for accusing him of lying. Moore's position is very shaky on this, but O'Reilly's ground isn't much firmer — the Butler report complained about how qualifiers were removed from intelligence briefings, making things seem more definite than they were. And of course, they still haven't found any nuclear material, or evidence that Iraq was buying it through Niger.

M: I would be willing to sacrifice my life to track down the people that killed 3,000 people on our soil.
O: Al Qeada was given refuge by the Taliban.
M: But we didn’t go after them—did we?
O: We removed the Taliban and killed three quarters of Al Qeada.
M: That’s why the Taliban are still killing our soldiers there.
It's fun to see both sides putting words in each other's mouths. Such a wonderful debating technique.

BEN AFFLECK! *SWOON*

Ask him about the girl in the back of the car!

"That's not my kind of humour" — Oh, Ben, was Mallrats that bad?

I think Bill and Ben are about to hug. Words you never thought would spring from Ben Affleck's mouth: "Ba'athist secular state".

Ted Kennedy! Oooh! Using John Adams for bitchslapping purposes! CLASSY.

By the way, I do love how, even though they both went to Yale, and are both extremely rich, "Bush is the common man." Does the common man often own a baseball team?

Anyway, Fox is about to show the MM v. R exchange. From the script I've read, Moore comes off worse. I have a feeling it's going to be two people yelling at each other for five minutes.

Yep. Oooh:

NADER'S COMING TO TOWN TOMORROW! HE'S GONNA CALL YOU OUT, KERRY!! Or something.

I'm getting more depressed as this convention rolls on. But hold on! It's howard Dean! They've brought out the tambourines! The crowd loves him. Standing ovation and everything. Just start talking! They'll soon quieten down. The usual topics: Healthcare, the war, and veteran's benefits. And now everyone is dancing to Sister Sledge.

Christie Vilsack is talking about a pen that Harry Truman gave her. The convention floor is getting restless.

Oh, sorry, got distracted. The keynote tonight is by Barack Obama. He's good.

" If there's an Arab American family being rounded up without benefit of an attorney or due process, that threatens my civil liberties."

Convention Fatigue is beginning to set in. But here comes Ron Reagan. Only talking about stem cell research, but it looks good to have a Reagan on stage. "They are just grinding a political axe, and they should be ashamed of themselves." Ouch.

"It does not follow that a theology of the few should outweigh the health of the many." Heh.

And, you know, I don't think I'll stick around for the Kerrys.

currently playing: The Divine Comedy — Come Home Billy Bird