We've only sold six tickets so far...

Not exactly what you want to hear whilst queuing up for a concert. Our fears of being all alone in the venue were quickly overcome by the fear of the drunken blad guy wandering down the street, yelling at us about “South Sex” and AIDS and holding a pint glass in a menacing manner. And Oxford is supposed to be a cultured town…

Luckily, there was something of a run on the tickets, or else the Zodiac grabbed passers-by and gave them free entry, because the hall was fairly well-packed by the time Stellastarr* came on. Support came from Audiothief, a local band from Banbury, and The Subways (who won a chance to appear on the New Band Stage at Glastonbury this year); nothing earth-shattering, but a pleasant enough diversion for two hours.

Stellastarr** then came on, playing most of their album plus a few new songs. I still have trouble defining exactly what they sound like; today I'm going with "Aztec Camera as filtered through 90s grunge projected on a cinema screen", which makes no sense to me, so don't worry if that sounds like gibberish. Anyway, they were good; lots of yelping, a topless drummer wearing Elton John-style glasses (and a black tape star across his right nipple), and lots of rock star poses. I have no idea why they thought it would be a good idea to come to Oxford, but I'm glad they did. A big boo to the girl who stole all the set lists, though. Especially since she stole the Stellastarr* one from under the nose from two girls who had positioned themselves in just the right spot to get it at the end of the set, only to be denied when the other girl swooped in at the end, while everybody else was clapping. If you see someone in green fishnet tights, socks, and handbag, ask her to share next time…

* There should be a moratorium placed on American bands using punctuation marks other than apostrophes. It's all fun and games to begin with, but then you end up with a band like !!!, who are just asking to be taken round back and beaten senseless by members of Compulsive Copy Editors Anonymous. With big, stompy hobnail boots, obviously.