Is It Over?

Jul 29, 2004 · 6 minute read

You remember this article, right? How it seemed cynical even by the most jaded of standards? Well, let’s have a cheer for Pakistan for capturing Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani!

Meanwhile, the Commons foreign affairs select committee released a report on how well things are going in Iraq, oh, and Afghanistan too. Turns out that Afghanistan is safe, as long as you define "Afghanistan" to be a street in Kabul.

This looks like a fun book. I'm not sure that "We weren't as bad as the Nazis!" really counts as a defence though.

Anyway, the final day of the convention. For a change, I had a look at some of the other news networks, and I must say: why did Fox News bother going to the expense of moving everybody out to Boston? They're not showing most of the speeches, they're still running their regular programmes. It would have been so much easier to leave everybody behind...

Hmm, only just flipped back, but not sure if bringing up De Gaulle is a good idea, Sen. Biden, but a good point on trust.

Now Wesley Clark. Beating the war drum and, most likely, talking up Kerry's Vietnam record. Because I don't think they've mentioned it yet.

Ah, Joe Lieberman. Will I resist the urge to put my foot through the television? Yes, Joe, and look how that VP nomination turned out, eh? And don't think bringing up Obama is going to make you look any better. Sorry, I really don't like Lieberman. Always makes me feel that he's in the wrong party somehow. Like he took a wrong turn at Albuquerque along the line. Well, I hope there's not Hindus, Sikhs, or Buddhists watching, Joe. Will he mention Clinton in former Presidents? Yes, but skipped Johnson. For obvious reasons, I guess.

Bored now. Seen this? I'm quite impressed. Not to get all fanboy about it, but when do you stop? Will Lucas be happy when he's added a digital effect to every frame? Has anybody said "No, George, that would suck" to him in the last twenty years?

Nancy Pelosi. Making the case for a Democrat Congress. It's weird; even if there was an election going on over here at the moment, there would be as much emphasis on soldiers. I mean, she's talking about healthcare, education, and outsourcing now, but there's been so much talking about war and supporting the troops. Even if we're still in Iraq and Afghanistan next year, the issues will probably be Europe and public spending, with defence getting a cursory mention. Sorry, getting distracted here, but I think it's an intriguing difference…

Oh. She's gone. Whoops. BUT! WILLY NELSON! ON THE PULSE OF YOUNG AMERICA! Actually, this could be great. HE'S GOT A GOSPEL CHOIR, AND HE'S MAD ENOUGH TO USE IT! Dammit, why didn't they invite The Polyphonic Spree? Forty hippies on a stage! Hmm, this isn't as good as it could be. Oh well. Who else? "Coming up next! A bunch of emo bands and intelligent dance music! DEMOCRATS BIGGING IT UP IN THE AREA! SLAM-DUNKING, OUR KID!"

Or they could bring on Madeleine Albright. I like them, I do, but I'm now bored senseless. I'm guessing that the Republican Convention will be different, if only because there's more chance of me getting worked up when I see people like Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Bush. Or I might have a job by then and you will all be spared. I want to see Al Sharpton following Bush around all summer, with a sign saying "WHERE'S MY MULE?" Albirght: unity, security, truth, bringing the world back to America. The usual.

And I'm worried. There's not going to be a big bounce after this convention. Or even a little one, I think. And it doesn't matter that he's now in a better position than Carter in 1976, Reagan in 1980, and Clinton in 1992. No bounce means failure in the eyes of the media. So that's what it will be. But anybody who has watched any part of this convention will know about Kerry's war record and what he stands for. If they've been lucky, they've seen fantastic speeches (Gore/Clinton on first night, Obama on the second, and Sharpton yesterday). I don't know what I'm trying to say; I suppose I'm trying to say that the convention probably doesn't matter to people who are busy having lives and not sitting in front of a computer screen, so I don't understand why it's considered to be so important. Is it even being carried by the major networks?

Carole King. And guess what she;s singing? "Close your eyes and think of me / and soon I will be there" DO I SEE LIGHTERS? And a sing-a-long! And a "You've got a friend…in John Kerry" (aha!) moment.

JFK sounded good, didn't he? DEMOCRAT DANCE PARTY!

"Kerry/Edwards Time! Let's Get It On!"Willie Nelson's checking Hillary Clinton out!

Andre Heinz is coming out to Hey Ya. Dude. Heh, "6"6" with the hair" Vanessa Kerry is good. And now Alexandra Kerry. All the family! Hamster CPR! Leave no hamster behind!

and now, a special bio hosted by Morgan Freeman.

They've got the men of Kerry's patrol boat on stage. Wow. Introducing Senator Max Cleland. More Vietnam, although this time incorporating Kerry's protests afterwards.

He's walking through the crowd! To Bruce Springsteen! Don't screw it up.

Just guessing, but this is probably going to be a speech of few sentences and lots of cheering.

Life story first.

"I will have a Secretary of Defense who will listen to his military advisors, and I will appoint an Attorney General who will defend the Constitution of the United States" — oooh.

He's getting better. Warming up a little. And now laying into Bush for throwing away unity: "Saying mission accomplished doesn't make it so"

"We will not go to war because we want to, but only because we have to"

"We will never send you to war without a plan to win the peace."

Leading with the military, then. 40,000 new troops, but not for Iraq; to bolster an over-stretched army.

"The future doesn't belong to fear; it belongs to freedom"

"We shouldn't be opening firehouses in Baghdad and shutting them in America." ouch.

I know it's because I'm listening to him. But he sounds good. He's moving on to the domestic issues now, about "you don't take kids out of after-school programs to give Enron a bigger tax cut."

"help is on the way" investment, closing tax loop-holes for companies that outsources. And reintroducing fiscal responsibility. A pledge not to raise taxes for the middle classes, but rolling back tax cut for those that make over $200,000 a year.

Education: increased spending, especially in the poorer areas (his wording here about prison was great).

Healthcare: "[Healthcare] is a right for all Americans and we will make it so"

Energy - reducing the dependence on oil. DAMN

"I want to address these next words to President George W. Bush" — a pledge for unity and also a call for him not to abuse the Constitution (veiled reference to election postponement?)

Picking back up on Obama's speech — One America.

"What if we have a President who believes in Science?"

And U2's Beautiful Day to close us out. You can't have everything.

Kerry / Edwards on stage, balloons coming soon, I imagine.

Well, he had to be good. And he was. We can but hope.