You have to hand it to the Government. Not satisfied with one huge, highly-volatile database, the likes of which the world has never seen before, they want another one! Only this time, little black boxes in Britain's 30m cars will be talking to satellites, keeping track of us wherever we go (unless, er, you drive a car that doesn't have a box inside. I'm guessing that the Transport Secretary has a plan for that. Although I'm not optimistic).

Good evening, London. It's nine o'clock and this is the Voice of Fate broadcasting on 275 and 285 metres in the medium wave.

Meanwhile, from the "juxtaposition that makes you laugh and despair at the same time"-department: