Rachel Stevens — Some Girls

You have to feel sorry for the BBC sometimes; they seem to have bad luck in choosing charity records. Most of the time, they're just dull and inoffensive (e.g. the latest Girls Aloud effort), but every so often, they manage to choose rather inappropriate songs. The Children In Need cover of Perfect Day, with all its heroin allusions, is the classic example, but this year's Sport Relief single has to be the most unlikely charity record ever.

You have to wonder whether anybody listened past the glorious sparkly-sheened Gary Glitter stomp and paid attention to the lyrics. At all. It's the story of a girl desperate for fame, and the things she's willing to do to achieve her dreams (Let's just say that "the champagne makes it taste so much better" is probably the dirtiest line you'll have heard in a Top 40 hit this year, and leave it at that, shall we?). And it doesn't seem to be going well, by the time the song reaches the breakdown:

Hey, Stop You made a promise to make me a star You made a promise I'll get to the top You made a promise to make me a star You made a promise I'll get to the top

There's so much going on in this record; throw-away lines like "he likes to put his own records on", the electro-house backing track, the expert use of "hey!" as backing vocals, and the nagging question of whether Stevens realises that, from a certain point-of-view, the song refers to her, whether during her Simon Fuller days (I've heard stories), or teaming up with hot producer Richard X for this track. Mind you, I wouldn't care if it the song wasn't the classic that it surely is. So congratulations to the BBC for encouraging children to sing about the joys of the casting couch…