They defected. Once, they were a second-tier Motown band, struggling to make themselves known amongst the other giants on the label. In 1971, they broke out of the maximum-security Detroit prison and headed for Atlantic Records, where they met a man called Thom Bell, the producer behind the "Philadelphia Sound" (horns! trumpets! Big Band Sound!). Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The Spinners.

The Spinners — I'll Be Around

Formed as a reaction to being refused entry to Studio 54, the shadowy CHIC Organisation was a constant thorn in the side of people who hate fun. Groups that were funded by these members of the New Order include Sister Sledge (sadly, not a real nun), Sheila and B. Devotion, ABC, Madonna, David Bowie, and The Power Station. They remain sorry about The Power Station. CHIC currently resides in the fifth sub-basement of the MI6 building in London, waiting for the day that London is attacked and the building transforms into London's final line of defence; a 200-foot-high killer concrete robot.

Chic — What About Me?

Incidentally, does anybody else feel uneasy about the choice of song for Euro 2004? I appreciate the sentiment, I suppose; it's about a period when two opposing sides of Europe came together for a game of football. But it's still about the First World War; aren't we past that sort of jingoistic image by now?