• some alcohol
• access to C-SPAN or the Whitehouse.gov feed

Take a drink when:

• Scott mentions September 11th
• …and another when it is has nothing to do with the question asked
• An extra drink if the subject of Iraq and September 11th occur in the same breath.
• Scott ignores the question being asked and repeats the same thing he said a minute ago
• Scott says "activist judges" with a scathing look on his face
• Scott mentions "The War on Terror"
• …and how it has made the world a safer place
• The Press Corps laughs at an obvious evasion
• Scott declines to answer Russell Mokhiber's question

Take a long drink when:

• The Press Corps asks the same question for over fifteen minutes
• …and they still don't get an answer
• Scott goes through tortured hoops to suggest that Bush will alter the Constitution, but never actually say the actual words
• Having no desire to continue this line of questioning, Scott attempts to change the subject, and fails miserably

Drink everything in sight when:

• Scott pulls out a Magnum, fires it wildy into the air screaming "The next person to ask about his military record goes down by a Magmum load!"
• Scott starts the briefing by saying "But first, let's do the HULA!"
• Russell Mokhiber is satisfied with an answer to one of his questions