That's a very good question. Having deftly sabotaged my life, it would be nice to have some idea about what to do next. Answers on a postcard, please…

Anyway, back in Britain. Yes, it has been raining. At the moment, there's a big black cloud hanging in the sky, just waiting to relieve itself upon Bicester. It's surprising just how little a town can change in a year, you know.

Everybody likes to joke about the lax security in US airports, but we were out of Gatwick in less than half an hour, having sailed through Customs with a considerable amount of consumer electronics. I am thankful for the Jamaican cigarette smugglers who occupied the official's attention while we trundled through with our packed trolleys ($220 in excess baggage costs. Yay!).

One last thing, before I go back to fretting about what to do next; it's really strange how a simple thing such as fonts on road signs can make a country feel different. In America, the signs are set with a stern typeface, and are very concise (you're lucky if you get more information than a sign saying 15-501 East, for example). Back home, the signs have a slightly quaint and friendly looking font, with copious amounts of detail. This is actually fairly deceptive, as American roads tend to be more amendable to making mistakes — you just come off at the next exit (not very far) and turn around, whereas here you can find yourself joining the wrong motorway really easily if you don't pay attention to where you're going…