Oct 31, 2003 · 2 minute read
"Welcome, my friends, to a very special music update. A posting to chill your very bones. Come with me, to my secret music laboratory, where I and my assistant Igor construct new combinations of sonic terror!
Igor! Bring on the first song!"
- Bobby Pickett — Monster Mash
"An excellent choice, Igor. For tonight is night when the zombies walk, vampyres stalk the night, and dead men lose their bones. Bwaaaahaahaha!"
- Sophie Ellis-Bextor — Mixed Up World
"Hmm, Igor. This is not quite as Hallowe'en-themed as the previous one."
"Ssssorry, Massster, but all the other sssssongssss were ssssoundtracksss."
"Never mind. I will punish you later. And don't say any more words with an 's' in them. It's quite annoying."
"Sigh. Anyway, readers. You will fear the oddly-rhombus shaped one. Oh yes. Fear! Fear! Hmm, what's this Igor? A message from the Narrator? That I should read out? Who says he's in charge of me? I bow to no-one! For I am—"
A huge anvil hangs suspended in mid-air above the good Doctor's head.
"Oh, very well. 'This song is for everybody who's been having a bad week, and I hope things are looking up somewhat'. Namby-pamby sentiment! There will be no room for that in our glorious new order, will there, Igor?"
The anvil disappears, but the Narrator reminds the good Doctor that he is the omniscient one in this tale, so the Doctor had better watch his back.
- Electrelane — I'm On Fire
"Ah, self-immolation. Perhaps something you should try one day, Igor. But not today, for before this night is out, our undead creation shall haunt the land once more!
- Elliott Smith — Baby Britain
"Is it ready, Igor? Is it ready?"
"Yessss, massssterrrr. The piecessss are in place."
"Very well. Let us begin. I give you a man, and the man was lost. I give you a hair from the 1922 committee, and a speck of blue rinse. I give you an answer, but not to your question. I give you a clause, and its number is twenty-eight. Come to us now, I call upon you. I call. I call. I. I. I."
- Björk — Immature
"It's alive! IGOR! IT'S ALIVE! I HAVE CREATED NEW LIFE!"
"It'sssss beautiful, massster. What will you call it?"
"An undead terror that will strike fear into the hearts of people, before being quietly buried in just over a year's time? Nice to meet you, Mr. Howard. Nice to meet you."
Oct 30, 2003 · 1 minute read
Finding Nemo is great, and you should all go see it immediately (and yes, all you lucky Americans should go and buy it on DVD when it comes out early next month and laugh at us, for we shall not see the DVD on these shores until the middle of 2004 at least...)
Oct 29, 2003 · 1 minute read
Oct 28, 2003 · 1 minute read
Who do I have to maim to get a copy of this, hmm?
(for Laura: the Daffy Duck cartoon with the artist being mean to him is the first on Disc 2: Duck Amuck.)
Oct 27, 2003 · 1 minute read
A Different Time: R.E.M. 1988-2003:
- Pop Song 89 (Green)
- Turn You Inside-out (Green)
- Shiny Happy People (Out of Time)
- Texarkana (Out of Time)
- Country Feedback (Out of Time)
- Drive (Automatic For The People)
- Find The River (Automatic For The People)
- Sweetness Follows (Automatic For The People)
- Bang And Blame (Monster)
- Strange Currencies (Monster)
- Tongue (Monster)
- How The West Was Won (and Where It Got Us) (New Adventures in Hi-Fi)
- Be Mine (New Adventures in Hi-Fi)
- Walk Unafraid (Up)
- Hope (Up)
- Lotus (Up)
- I've Been High(Reveal)
- She Just Wants To Be (Reveal)
- European Bonus Track: Wichita Linesman (b-side on Bittersweet Me UK single)
Not that there's anything particularly wrong with In Time, but you can't fit R.E.M.'s past fifteen years on one CD without leaving out a lot of great records…
Oct 26, 2003 · 1 minute read
DELAND, Fla., Nov. 11 - Something very strange happened on election night to Deborah Tannenbaum, a Democratic Party official in Volusia County. At 10 p.m., she called the county elections department and learned that Al Gore was leading George W. Bush 83,000 votes to 62,000. But when she checked the county's Web site for an update half an hour later, she found a startling development: Gore's count had dropped by 16,000 votes, while an obscure Socialist candidate had picked up 10,000--all because of a single precinct with only 600 voters.
Oct 26, 2003 · 2 minute read
Just give me five minutes alone with it. Just me and a baseball bat
. Then I'll get my printing done.
I'm convinced that printer manufactures are accomplished sadists; there's no other explanation for the way that printers refuse to work in times where a five-year-old could probably install Linux on her computer if she so desired. Even Microsoft has worked out how to build a half-decent operating system, after twenty years of inflicting pain on us all. We should be living in a paper utopia.
Instead, we have inkjet printers that have cartridges that cost more than the printers themselves, awkward paper trays that love to munch on 90gsm sheets, and the infamous "PC Load Letter" message. A pox on HP, Epson, and their ilk.
Yes, I tried to print something today. A script, which I'm sending off to the BBC. I send it off to the printer, and then go and have a shower. I come back to find that while the first three pages have come out okay, the type fades out on the subsequent pages, eventually turning into blank sheets of paper. "Hmm," I say, "Another printer problem. No worries, I'll have this sorted in a jiffy, and still have time for a brisk walk in the lower fields." But no. Cleaning the cartridge, switching to a different type of paper, and even taking a look at the PDF file itself; nothing seems to have any effect. The first three pages are fine, but everything after that fades away. I consider spending the rest of the day ripping the PDF file apart on my Linux box to see exactly where the problem is buried (as it looks fine on my Mac, and in Postscript form). I come to my senses, and fix the problem by the laughable solution of printing the script three pages at a time. Luckily, the script it only thirty pages long, but it's still rather annoying. Of course, there's still the chance that when I come to print something else out, I'll have the same problem, but I imagine the printer gremlins will give me something else to fret about when that happens. I'm half-convinced that it's payback for the surprise of getting the printer to print double-sided on card earlier in the week…
Oct 25, 2003 · 1 minute read
I'd like to draw your attention to the newest part of the BBC's website, iCan
. It's a site where people can register their campaigns, for issues as diverse as whether the BBC's website should switch from Real to MP3 for its audio archives
(a hearty YES! from over here), to a call for more cycling in Loughborough
. People can browse the site, offer support to whichever cause they wish to support, whether it's just by clicking on a "support" button, or using the contact information to find out how they can help in a more substantial way. Give iCan your post code, and it will provide a list of all your local councillors and MPs
, and also show you the ways that you can get in contact with them (good to see that faxyourmp
is still up and running).
Ever wanted to run a campaign on an issue, local or national? iCan looks as if it's going to give you most of the organisational structure to make it happen. All funded by the licence fee. Genius.
(Insert SNL-style "This would never have happened under a Conservative Government" gag here)