Nov 5, 2003 · 4 minute read
As most of you are probably aware, I'm not the biggest fan of The Matrix series. I came out of the cinema four years ago, thinking that I had seen an above-average action movie with a few ground-breaking effects and a reasonable plot, although it did think that it was far more clever than it was in places. So I was a little surprised when people began discussing it as if it one of the greatest films of all time, with people praising it for its originality and inventive story. At long last, I finally understood what it felt like to be Richard, one of my friends at university, who loathed the Star Wars series with fiery passion, and would often forcefully argue the point (I still have a discussion to have with him that it was The Godfather that caused the downfall of American cinema rather than George Lucas, but we'll save that for another time). I didn't hate The Matrix, but I couldn't see why everybody else seemed to fall over to praise it.
I talked about Reloaded a few months ago, and today I went to see the final film in the series, The Matrix: Revolutions. I still can't see it. On the plus side, there's fewer over-convoluted, slightly-dodgy philosophical conversations this time around, plus you finally get to see those hulking robot suits in action. The attack on Zion is easily the highlight of the film; excellent CGI sentinels swirling and swarming around the city, killing everything in their path, while the human defenders act out all the great war film clichés. It's a great hour.
I don't know, it just doesn't seem to hang together all that well. Loathe as I am to turn to the Star Wars films as an example of how to wrap up a trilogy, Return of The Jedi is actually pretty good in that respect. Revolutions isn't. The first twenty minutes is "What Happened To Neo, Anyway?", except it decides to redo the lobby scene from the first film and have a stupid, stupid confrontation with the Merovingian (no, really, it makes no sense. Why didn't they just shoot them after they agreed the deal, hmm?), and then gives us some time with the All-New, All-Different Oracle to explain the plot again. Then the film splits into three, just like Jedi; There's what's going on in the Matrix, the attack on Zion, and Neo's mission to save humanity. Fair enough. But the film, understandably, wants to concentrate on the Zion attack, so Neo disappears from the film for about half an hour. And we're not allowed to see what's happening inside the Matrix until the very end. It's weird, because you'd normally expect these stories to be edited together, and watching them one after another is a bit anticlimactic, especially after the spectacular Zion scenes. The finale isn't that bad, as it at least attempts to move away slightly from the standard fight setup (I won't spoil it, but I will say it's not something that a long-time comic reader will be surprised at, but it's better than nothing).
Also, the acting is a bit weird. Lawrence Fishburne has very little to do after the initial rescue, Keanu looks bewildered most of the time, and Carrie-Anne Moss turns in her best Skeletor impression (honestly, have a chip!). The best performances come from Jada Pinkett-Smith, who seems to channel Harrison Ford during the chase scenes, and the commander of the APU forces; sadly I'm not able to track his name down on the imdb, but he's playing one of those gruff and insane captains that you find in war films. IN A BIG MECH BATTLESUIT, WITH GUNS. Everybody else is adequate enough, but, as you might imagine, this isn't a showcase for acting talent.
So, should you go and see it? Well, it's always nice to see how things end. And I know that I have a tendency to look harshly on the series as a reaction to how popular it is (sorry), so you might not have the same problems that I did, or they might not matter to you quite so much. If nothing else, there's a cool middle section with hulking robot battlesuits shooting robots! They're always good for a day out at the cinema…
Nov 4, 2003 · 2 minute read
Not much to talk about at the moment; the Conservative Party have decided not to hold an entertaining, back-stabbing, vitriolic leadership contest. Realising the mess they got into last time when they made the mistake of letting the Party membership decide their leader, this time they're going for the Soviet idea of promoting one candidate for the masses to endorse. That their idea of a leader that can win the next General Election is Michael Howard
must give the Liberal Democrats a warm snuggly feeling at night.
Then there's the situation in Iraq, but I get depressed just thinking about that these days. Current feelings: Look, I don't want the US to pull out, because the country would descend into chaos relatively quickly, but would it be so hard for them to swallow their pride, and allow the UN to have overall control of the area? I mean, they could hardly do worse at the moment, could they? And don't get me started about the whole stupid "oh, that sign? Not ours, guv? Well, okay, it was ours, but they didn't have to put it up, did they?" business.
I would link to pictures to Chapel Hill's Halloween (look - no '‘' 8-)) party on Friday, but it seems that the Daily Tar Heel didn't take many pictures (hopefully, they were all out having a good time instead). So I won't. From what I hear, it's going to be a long night in the dth office, as they have to cover the local elections, so good luck to everybody involved…
Um, the new Camera Obscura album is quite wonderful, in a wistful, lovelorn-type way.
Nov 2, 2003 · 1 minute read
A few links to end the week.
The scary thing was that it didn't seem too implausible that they'd do such a thing…
Japan goes all New Romantic.
Norton Internet Security 2004 blocks NRA sites (possibly by default, the NRA's notice is a little unclear about that).
Too much information...
A picture demonstrating why Nokia's N-Gage is going to be a miserable flop.
The Top 50 Most Common Used CDs in America. I own six!
Nov 2, 2003 · 1 minute read
And we're back. Panther looking good so far. Here's an obligatory Exposé screenshot:
Oct 31, 2003 · 2 minute read
"Welcome, my friends, to a very special music update. A posting to chill your very bones. Come with me, to my secret music laboratory, where I and my assistant Igor construct new combinations of sonic terror!
Igor! Bring on the first song!"
- Bobby Pickett — Monster Mash
"An excellent choice, Igor. For tonight is night when the zombies walk, vampyres stalk the night, and dead men lose their bones. Bwaaaahaahaha!"
- Sophie Ellis-Bextor — Mixed Up World
"Hmm, Igor. This is not quite as Hallowe'en-themed as the previous one."
"Ssssorry, Massster, but all the other sssssongssss were ssssoundtracksss."
"Never mind. I will punish you later. And don't say any more words with an 's' in them. It's quite annoying."
"Sigh. Anyway, readers. You will fear the oddly-rhombus shaped one. Oh yes. Fear! Fear! Hmm, what's this Igor? A message from the Narrator? That I should read out? Who says he's in charge of me? I bow to no-one! For I am—"
A huge anvil hangs suspended in mid-air above the good Doctor's head.
"Oh, very well. 'This song is for everybody who's been having a bad week, and I hope things are looking up somewhat'. Namby-pamby sentiment! There will be no room for that in our glorious new order, will there, Igor?"
The anvil disappears, but the Narrator reminds the good Doctor that he is the omniscient one in this tale, so the Doctor had better watch his back.
- Electrelane — I'm On Fire
"Ah, self-immolation. Perhaps something you should try one day, Igor. But not today, for before this night is out, our undead creation shall haunt the land once more!
- Elliott Smith — Baby Britain
"Is it ready, Igor? Is it ready?"
"Yessss, massssterrrr. The piecessss are in place."
"Very well. Let us begin. I give you a man, and the man was lost. I give you a hair from the 1922 committee, and a speck of blue rinse. I give you an answer, but not to your question. I give you a clause, and its number is twenty-eight. Come to us now, I call upon you. I call. I call. I. I. I."
- Björk — Immature
"It's alive! IGOR! IT'S ALIVE! I HAVE CREATED NEW LIFE!"
"It'sssss beautiful, massster. What will you call it?"
"An undead terror that will strike fear into the hearts of people, before being quietly buried in just over a year's time? Nice to meet you, Mr. Howard. Nice to meet you."
Oct 30, 2003 · 1 minute read
Finding Nemo is great, and you should all go see it immediately (and yes, all you lucky Americans should go and buy it on DVD when it comes out early next month and laugh at us, for we shall not see the DVD on these shores until the middle of 2004 at least...)