21st Century Torture

We don’t do it ourselves, we outsource.

currently playing: The Cardigans — Carnival

I ♥ 2005: Day 8: Summer-summer-time

Will Smith — Switch

The best thing he’s done since Summertime. I would write more, but I’m exhausted. Just take my word for it…

currently playing: M.I.A. – 10 Dollar

I ♥ 2005: Day 7: I Used To Be Carried By The Arms of Cheerleaders

The National — Mr. November

A perennial favourite of Teletext’s Planet Sound, you know. I’m not entirely sure why this song has found its way on to my Best of 2005 list, after all, it’s an American rock band with guitars, and this year I’ve been in a more pop frame of mind. This song is here for the admirable bombast and sheer bloody-mindedness, but mostly for this line:

The English are coming and I don’t know what to do

Oh yes, we are.

currently playing: Stars – soft revolution

Throwing Myself At Your Mercies

Okay, as I’ve said (and have said rather excitedly over the past couple of days), I have a new job that starts tomorrow. Now, one of the things I’m fairly sure I’ll need is a mobile phone. Which I don’t have, at least not one that works in this country.

So! Advice! Pay as you go? Monthly? Which of the 5,000 or so available phones to choose from? (Bear in mind that I have an iPod and a camera, so I don’t really need my phone to duplicate those functions)

I quite like this one (I’m a sucker for being able to flip open the phone and pretend I’m in Star Trek. It’s a sad affliction, I know).

currently playing: Kenickie — Rough Boys & Modern Girls

PMQs

Well, that was a blistering disappointment, wasn’t it? The hardest questions came from Charles Kennedy…

currently playing: Frente — Bizarre Love Triangle

I ♥ 2005: Day 6: Well, Shall We Begin, Children?

Hilary Duff — Wake Up

You. Yes, you at the back. Less of it.

Just listen to how it sounds; that little bubbly synth at the beginning; Debbie Gibson by way of Kim Wilde’s Kids In America fed through ProTools and coming out blindingly shiny. That rainbow effect that slides through the bridge. The way that even despite the use of Autotuner, The Duff can’t quite reach the notes for “Hollywood and Vine”, giving the chorus a fragile tint. And let’s not forget the Vanilla Sky / Abre Los Ojos-esque whisper of “wake up” running through the song.

The lyric is also smarter than it seems. The first verse is all “woe is me…I’m a fabulous pop star and I HAVE PROBLEMS!” But after the chorus, the singer realises that nobody else is doing much better, and then finally, the song ends with the thought of “well, this is pretty fantastic, actually”. Not Tolstoy, but it’ll do.

Much better than that Kelly Clarkson rubbish anyway.

currently playing: Hilary Duff – Wake Up

Relapse.

Okay, so still not well enough yet. See you tomorrow.

EDIT: And since writing this entry, I now have a job again.

currently playing: The Style Council – My Ever Changing Moods (Long Version)

Back Tomorrow

But, while the controversy over the NME chart rages, here’s the readers choice of 2005 from Q:

10 Hard To Beat - Hard-Fi 9 Speed Of Sound - Coldplay 8 Dakota - The Stereophonics 7 Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand 6 Lyla - Oasis 5 Black Horse and The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall 4 Oh My God! - The Kaiser Chiefs 3 I Predict A Riot - The Kaiser Chiefs 2 Fix You - Coldplay 1 The Importance Of Being Idle - Oasis

If you can come up with a more joyless list than that for this year, I’ll be downright impressed. Q: Wishing It Was 1995 For Ten Years Now.

currently playing: Girls Aloud – Biology

Plans? Ha.

The Advent countdown will begin after I stop throwing up…

currently playing: Sleeper – Sale Of The Century

NME IN VOTE-RIGGING SHOCK!

The NME Albums of The Year Poll has been massaged by higher powers? You don’t say.

For bonus points, the article also features Conor McNicholas having a whine, making lots of mentions of “Britain’s biggest selling music magazine” (only to have Q figures thrown back at him).

I am assured that the upcoming poll of Static Multmedia writers will be free of such taint, but if anybody else has votes for Annie, Robyn and Rachel Stevens, I will be surprised (I suspect a slight US bias in the results).

But, for you lucky people! From tomorrow, a round-up of my favourite tracks of the year, one for each day of Advent. You’ve never had it so good. Honest.

currently playing: Orange Juice – Texas Fever