Oh. The Hilarity.

Q But you've got like a -- you've got a situation room here. You've got people who monitor stuff. It's impossible to find out -- I mean, the vice president knew immediately, "Oh, no! I've shot somebody accidentally," and it takes 24 hours --

Also, if Labour keep up their insane plans to saddle this country with a pointless identity card system, I’m voting Tory at the next election (only, and only if they make it an electoral promise to dismantle it if the Lords can’t stop them). I’ll feel like scum, but it has to be done.

currently playing: Life Without Buildings – PS Exclusive

Bits & Pieces

Today, I hate Microsoft. But love Linux geeks for creating a boot CD that can reset Windows 2000 Administrator accounts.

For others: Tom, I think the Google addition shouldn’t be too hard. I’ll try and add it at the weekend, where I also phone Phil, finally reply to Richard in the latest instalment in the current email debate of “Mrs Thatcher: Anti-Christ or just plain Evil?, continue writing Ian’s Great Doomed Graphic Novel Idea of 2006 (Reborn Because of Having Money Again).

I don’t expect to actually do it all…

currently playing: Tilly & The Wall – Fell Down The Stairs

Grant Morrison on Batman

Grant Morrison on Batman

Grant Morrison on Batman

These are tears of joy, not sadness. SCI-FI CLOSET! "HNN." MAN-BAT NINJA!

DC: 1 Million. Marvel: Nil.

currently playing: R.E.M. – World Leader Pretend

This Week's New Arrivals

*** ******* **** — ** *** **** *** *******

currently playing: Heavenly – C Is the Heavenly Option

Miquita, Myleene & 50¢ Sitting In A Tree

I imagine Pop is going to die on my birthday. Grrr.

currently playing: Handsomeboy Technique – Adelie Coast Walts

Dear Conservatives And Labour

I barely survived the 2004 US election. I do not want to hear the phrase ‘flip-flop’ ever again. Thank you.

currently playing: Goldfrapp – Number 1

Note To Marketeers

If you are going to call me with a view to selling me things I don’t want, please have the decency to turn off your mobile phone. And if it rings, don’t leave me hanging until you finish. Because I wasn’t really interested before, and after that, I’m making a note never to use your company for anything…

Get Well Soon Chan!

Cat Power cancels her entire upcoming tour for unspecified health reasons. She’s unlikely to see this, considering the vastness of the Internet and having much better things to do instead, but I’m sure you’ll join me in wishing her a speedy recovery. And go buy The Greatest. It’s Radio 2-approved!

currently playing: New Order — All Day Long

I ASK THE QUESTIONS!

Given news reports today have stated that Abu Hamza was convicted partly for owning “an encyclopaedia of terror”, I think we need to know:

  • Just where can you get hold of an Encyclopaedia of Terror? Is it a Time-Life deal complete with a carriage clock? (pause for everybody to make Captain Hook jokes)
  • Did Hamza get the whole set, or does he just have the volume DA-LEK?
  • Is it peer-reviewed?
  • Can anybody be convicted of owning Google Earth if the CPS decides to make a case of it?

I also think we need to deposit a huge Lego “I ♥ Denmark” sign outside their embassy. Just because it seems a bit much at the moment…

currently playing: Perpetual Langley – Two By Two

Daddy Bought It All For You

My review of Johnny Boy’s eponymous album is now up at Static. Now, in my defence, I drank quite a bit of vodka before sitting down to write the review; I was finding it rather difficult to get started. Hopefully, that will explain the bits that are blatantly stolen from Morley and Gillen, the parts where I turn CD ripping into something equivalent to developing an atom bomb, and for writing “Karl Marx produced by Trevor Horn” towards the end.

It's also hamstrung by a terrible use of Review Structure Version A: Go Through The Tracks In Sequence And Get The Review Out The Door As Soon As Possible. Given my anxiety towards whether the album could live up to my expectations, I wanted to try and get across the rush I felt as I first heard each track - being so nervous as You Are The Generation... ended, to the moments of joy in 15 Minutes and "what the HELL was that?" in Bonnie Parker's 115th Dream. I'm not sure that comes across, but I think you can tell from my gushing praise that I liked it somewhat.