Hmm, it's like a festival, really. Nobody you've heard about is on for the first few hours. Then there's a slow roll-out of some people you may have seen once in a while, then BAM! Primetime and there's Al Gore and Jimmy Carter. And for the headliners: The Clintons and Patti LaBelle! It's just like Glastonbury, except that it's inside, smaller, with fewer cows, but comes with a bonus "Protest Zone", replete with razorwire and armed guards.
C-SPAN is airing a pre-game show! All the build-up! All the excitement! And 59 minutes of filler!
Oooh, a hammer!
Hmm, the vicar looks uncannily like this:
And here comes the army. Still, it's more interesting than the Younger Younger 28s so far. Oh, spoke too soon — Miss Teen New Mexico is now singing the national anthem.
"Hello, Democrats, I'm from Michigan" — we're so very, very sorry (a cheap shot, heck one of my favourite bands comes from there, but I had to take it)
Hmm, perhaps I'll come back at eight, when I'm more in the mood…
Sam The Bald Eagle:
AL! AL! AL! AL! They couldn't resist a jibe. And he opens with a joke! "You win some, you lose some, and then there's that little known third option..." That SNL appearance gave him some well-needed humour. He doesn't seem stiff anymore. But if he snogs Tipper again, I'm going to be sick.
"I believe that every boy and girl should be able to dream of one day, being able to win the popular vote"
Cracking wise and going for the Republican and third-party votes. Where were you in 2000, Al Gore 2004? Where were you?
And he even mentions Clinton! WHERE WERE YOU FOUR YEARS AGO?
Next up, a cynical stab for women's votes. And a cheer for Hillary! Just don't tell her you're for non-secular programmes in school, eh, Bonnie?
And now…CUTE CHILDREN! SINGING!
I wonder how many people are watching. It's a bit like the Oscars, but without any of the excitement. And lots of waiting around when the networks go to a commercial. By the way, if you're in the UK, BBC Parliament is taking the C-SPAN feed, so you don't have to settle for a postage stamp of video that cuts out every half-hour (The Internet — so full of promise, but not quite there yet)
The elephant is so ugly he sleeps his head Click click click click click Click himself under
Jimmy Carter Jimmy Carter Jimmy Carter
A little dig at "active military service," there, Jimmy. And a not-so-subtle one too.
He's not as funny as Gore. But says all the right things. They're going after Bush more than I was expecting, although I suppose that's what these speeches are for.
Hmm, got distracted there. Hope I didn't miss anything.
Anyway, I think the reason why conventions are so dull these days is because nothing is at stake anymore. The object of the convention is to pick a candidate, but the candidate is already known months before, so it's all a bit pointless. What you want is a close-run race, ending up with a battle in the convention centre, with pundits providing real-time analysis of whether the support of the Yuppie Ladder 101 Union will give a candidate enough delegates to push them over the edge. Make things exciting again. Admittedly, the last time that such an event occurred was probably back in 1972, when George McGovern pulled off a stunning victory over the other candidates, outmanoeuvring them at every turn. He then went on to lose to Nixon 49 states to 1. Only one state didn't vote for Nixon. My God, that's a horrible thought.
And this is a HORRIBLE version of Blowing In The Wind
Missed quite a bit again. There's now a reverend who served with Kerry in Vietnam talking. But I think he's just finished.
Hillary! And she knows a thing or two about healthcare. ho ho. hmm, and the span feed has dropped out, leaving her sounding like a robot. But Robo-Hillary is going down well. BILL! BILL! BERRY! Whoops, wrong Bill. But she's introducing him now – woo!
And the crowd goes nuts.
He's thanking previous speakers. It's an Al/Bill reconciliation! hurrah! My, is it so long? There's sentences, progressions, comparisons, and even building of arguments. And he brings the funny! Damn, he's good. He's currently outlining the reasons to vote Republican - less police, tax cuts for the rich, assault rifles on the streets, and now, listing all the achievements of the Clinton Years — "It was better." And pointing out how both he and George Bush dodged Vietnam, but Kerry went of his own accord.