You will need:
- some alcohol
- access to C-SPAN or the Whitehouse.gov feed
Take a drink when:
- Scott mentions September 11th
- …and another when it is has nothing to do with the question asked
- An extra drink if the subject of Iraq and September 11th occur in the same breath.
- Scott ignores the question being asked and repeats the same thing he said a minute ago
- Scott says "activist judges" with a scathing look on his face
- Scott mentions "The War on Terror"
- …and how it has made the world a safer place
- The Press Corps laughs at an obvious evasion
- Scott declines to answer Russell Mokhiber's question
Take a long drink when:
- The Press Corps asks the same question for over fifteen minutes
- …and they still don't get an answer
- Scott goes through tortured hoops to suggest that Bush will alter the Constitution, but never actually say the actual words
- Having no desire to continue this line of questioning, Scott attempts to change the subject, and fails miserably
Drink everything in sight when:
- Scott pulls out a Magnum, fires it wildy into the air screaming "The next person to ask about his military record goes down by a Magmum load!"
- Scott starts the briefing by saying "But first, let's do the HULA!"
- Russell Mokhiber is satisfied with an answer to one of his questions