And so we begin.
Metal Machine Music: Track 1.
[0:00] Okay, so there's feedback.
[0:15] Lots of feedback.
[1:42] Scarlily, it actually sounds quite musical at times.
[2:05] ZX Spectrum loading sounds!
[2:06] R: Tape Loading error
[3:44] Oh god, help me. I'm actually enjoying it.
[5:12] Someone's killing a cat!
[7:02] Here, it's beginning to sound like when the science programmes on television play the sound of the universe's background radiation.
[8:58] We're over halfway through the first track!
[10:42] Strange beeping in the right channel. It is trying to send me a message?
[12:27] A baby crying in the right channel?
[14:55] Someone's seen to the baby.
[16:11] End track 1
[0:03] The baby's gone over to the left.
[1:01] My headphones are self-tuning - they just flipped out because they think it's static.
[3:36] Paul Morley was right.
[4:20] Was that a voice in the left?
[6:45] It's really quite beautiful. Brutal and disgusting, but beautiful.
[10:04] Disappointed that I haven't gone insane yet. (Mind you, would I notice?)
[11:07] Was that my eardrum?
[13:24] " And seven priests shall bear before the ark seven trumpets of rams' horns: and the seventh day ye shall compass the city seven times, and the priests shall blow with the trumpets."
[14:32] Left eardrum starting to fail. But I shall not give up! I! Shall! NOT! GIVE! UP!
[1:10] Glossolia. ah ah The Tower of Babel they knew what they were after
[2:16] The baby's back stretched across the sky.
[3:13] Hey! That almost sounds like a guitar. I'm almost disappointed.
[4:02] Starting to develop a headache.
[6:05] Is that the ice-cream van?
[7:13] I can't explain. I can hear patterns, notes, emerging from the feedback. Order from chaos. Or is that my mind trying to assert itself over reality? Where is my beautiful wife? How did I get here?
[7:59] Godspeed You! Black Emperor was born in Track 3.
[10:37] It occurs to me that this would be a great choice for a funeral. Especially if, as the deceased, you hated everybody. All! Four! Sides!
[11:02] Of course, they could promise to do it and then bottle out on the day.
[11:11] And then you'd haunt them to the end of their days.
[13:00] Did somebody just walk across the studio?
[14:20] Somebody should make a book on email junk mail. What was the first spam message sent? What is the story behind the 419 messages? Did the guy trying to make a time machine succeed?
[16:10] One more track left.
[0:10] Somebody needs to make a continuous mix.
[0:45] The baby is yelling again.
[1:03] But, really, what was the reaction in RCA after the first play? "Gee, Lou. Thanks. Very funny. Now where's the record?"
[1:47] Some strange pulsing going on in the right hand channel.
[4:31] Feeling calm.
[5:29] I really am beginning to sense a tune. There is truly no hope for me.
[7:27] I think my left ear is starting to bleed
[8:32] Thinking about it, the best time to listen to this isn't during the day, but early in the morning, say 3am, with lots of people spread out on the floor.
[9:41] And that reminds me, I must get hold of Zaireeka.
[11:40] Final few minutes now.
[13:05] Sadly, this copy can't replicate the original release completely. The vinyl version has a "locked" groove on the final side, so it will actually play forever if you let it.
[13:49] BoBoom. BoBoom. BoBoom. The finality of the end is approaching.
[14:35] Faster, faster.
[15:04] Sweet Jane! Anyone who had a heart!